Chloe C. and her team didn’t write Paying for It to shock you. They didn’t write it to justify their work or beg for sympathy. They wrote it because too many clients walk into these situations blind, nervous, or worse - entitled. The book is a collection of straight-talking guides from sex workers across North America and Europe, sharing what they wish every client knew before handing over cash. It’s not a manifesto. It’s not a polemic. It’s a practical manual written by people who’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly - and survived.
One chapter opens with a blunt question: "Why do you think you deserve to be treated like a customer in a store?" It’s jarring, but necessary. The authors break down the myth that paying for sex makes you a client with rights. You’re not buying a product. You’re paying for a human interaction under specific, negotiated conditions. And if you don’t respect those boundaries, you’re not just rude - you’re dangerous. For context, some readers might wonder about legal gray areas elsewhere - like is prostitution legal in dubai - but this book isn’t about laws. It’s about dignity.
What This Book Actually Covers
The book is split into three parts: Before You Book, During the Encounter, and After the Session. Each section is packed with real examples, not hypotheticals. One worker recounts how a client showed up drunk and tried to film her without consent. Another describes a man who brought his wife to "watch" - and expected the worker to perform for both of them without extra pay. These aren’t outliers. They’re common enough that the authors built entire chapters around them.
They don’t sugarcoat the risks. Physical violence, emotional manipulation, and legal threats are real. But they also highlight the quiet victories: the client who thanked them for being honest, the one who left a tip and a handwritten note, the man who came back months later just to say he’d started therapy after their session helped him see his loneliness.
The Rules They Wish You Knew
The authors lay out ten non-negotiable rules for clients. Not suggestions. Rules. Here are the top three:
- Pay upfront, in full. No "I’ll pay after," no "I’ll Venmo you later." If you can’t pay now, you’re not ready to book.
- Respect the time. Arrive on time. If you’re late, you lose time. No exceptions.
- No unsolicited advice. Don’t tell them how to live, what to do with their life, or why they "should" get out of this work. You didn’t ask for their life story. Don’t give them yours.
These aren’t arbitrary. They’re survival tactics. The book explains why each rule exists - often because someone got hurt, arrested, or traumatized because a client ignored it.
What They Say About Money
One of the most surprising sections is about pricing. The authors don’t just list rates - they explain how they’re set. Experience, location, demand, risk level, and emotional labor all factor in. A session in a safe, private apartment costs more than one in a motel. A client who wants to talk for an hour before anything else pays more - because emotional labor is real work. And yes, they charge extra for specific requests, like nudity without sex, or extended time. It’s not greed. It’s transparency.
They also address the myth that sex workers are "overcharging." One worker writes: "If you think $200 is too much for an hour where I’m managing your anxiety, your loneliness, and your ego - then you don’t understand what you’re paying for. You’re paying for someone to hold space for you without judgment. That’s rare. That’s valuable."
How This Book Changes the Conversation
Most books about sex work are written by academics, journalists, or activists. This one is written by the people doing the work. There’s no academic jargon. No pity. No heroism. Just facts. The authors call out clients who think they’re "saving" sex workers, who romanticize their lives, or who assume they’re all victims. They’re not. Some are students. Some are single parents. Some are retired. Some do it because they like the autonomy. Some do it because they have no other options. And that’s okay.
They don’t ask you to agree with their choices. They just ask you to respect them.
Why This Matters Beyond the Bedroom
This book isn’t just for clients. It’s for anyone who thinks they understand sex work because they watched a documentary or read a news story. It’s for partners who judge their loved ones’ choices. It’s for policymakers who legislate without listening. It’s for the man who Googles hookers dubai and thinks he’s being clever. He’s not. He’s just ignorant.
And if you’re wondering about legality in places like Dubai - where sex in dubai legal is a dangerous myth - this book reminds you that legality doesn’t equal safety. In places where it’s criminalized, workers are more vulnerable. In places where it’s decriminalized, they’re more protected. The difference isn’t about morality. It’s about human rights.
Who Should Read This?
If you’ve ever paid for sex - or thought about it - read this. If you know someone who does - give them a copy. If you’re curious about the industry, read this before watching another Netflix doc. If you’re a student, a therapist, or a journalist - read this. It’s not about judgment. It’s about understanding.
The authors don’t want you to like them. They don’t want you to admire them. They just want you to stop pretending you know what’s going on.
And if you’re still not sure whether to read it? Ask yourself this: Would you walk into a doctor’s office without knowing how to behave? Would you show up to a job interview without researching the company? Then why would you show up to a sex worker’s door without reading the rules?